Glimpses

Glimpses
Do you see
the black
that hides
behind my eyes
trying to
overwhelm
at every 
opportunity
wanting to not
act upon them
I drown them
in any way 
I possibly can
now you think
I am deceiving
myself
into believing
I am doing
something right
when I am not
but do you
really know
how often
the blade slices
inside my mind
how often
I suffocate
and strangle
myself in hatred
breathing all
the mistakes
down my throat
the nights
I cry myself
into a ball
of hopelessness
I ask not 
for anyone's pity
or judgement
all I want
is to accept
the person
that stares back
when I look
in the mirror
and not see
a shimmering
shadow 
of the person
I could have been.

Broken

Broken
Damaged from the start
I tend to ease
into the same role
in every occasion
where I relinquish
control of my mind
and my body
only to repeat
into yet another
nightmare
where my voice 
is never heard
my heart never felt
and my feelings
overruled
I can never
be trusted
ever again
for I am damaged
even before we begin.