And so my body pulls on the handbrake, the emergency stop, I over exert myself, work too long and too hard, try to fix problems that are not mine to deal with and am generally just met with a scornful look from one of the operators, who should be overseeing the work, whose job I am actually doing from time to time. This morning already I felt rubbish and during the day that did not improve even in the slightest. I climbed up the towers again which we are working on, which are about 50 metres in height and I felt dizzy and disoriented, not my finest moment up there, but not my worst either, that happened yesterday. But the emergency stop has been activated and I now have a 39.4 degree fever and am getting ready to go to bed. Just a few thoughts that I’d like to share first though.

I am not the enemy
that lives inside 
of you or me

I am not the one
who is messing up
the best of plans

I am not the target
of your anger
and frustration

But I am, however
the one feeling
the brunt of it

And I am not capable
of standing up
and tell you why.
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